Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
