Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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