you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
