Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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