weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
