Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize