We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
