Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
