I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
