this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize