You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
