I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
