haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
