wat bout pragnant strippers??
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize