Tell her she can't have a vagina
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize