She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
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