I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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