So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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