You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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