We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
