God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i think my cat just said my name.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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