Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
