how can u be prego again
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
