You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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