Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
