So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
