I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
