those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
