I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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