from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
