this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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