I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Say something about gay babies.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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