i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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