Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
