So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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