I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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