My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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