I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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