it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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