i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
they're like a gay fantastic four
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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