Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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