we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Houston, we have a blender
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
