ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
