sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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