the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I have peed in a lot of sinks
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
