Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
