I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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