After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
