he looks like a really good dad on facebook
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
