you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We need to get me chipped asap
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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