I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I didn't notice because vodka
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
we should paint friendship bongs
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
