ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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