i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
