I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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