Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize