I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
