Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
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