So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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